Failure and Success

You know those tests I took last week (Math, French, and Economics)? Well I got my grades back. Math was pretty much as expected, 14.5/20. That may not sound too great for you Americans, and as I am American as well my face fell a bit at the score, but here a 14 is around an A- or B+ so I'm not really that fussed. Economics...well there is no way to make a 2.5/20 sound good. There is no way to make it sound even remotely acceptable. I was expecting around 4 at least, but I'm trying not to stress too much. I did start a rigorous new studying routine, though, with flash cards and everything. The problem is that I spend a lot of energy studying economics and then have none left for my other classes. But I'm aiming for at least an 8 on the next test. Okay, 6. Then there is French. I was certain before taking the test that I was destined for a miserable failure, but in fact I received the best grade of the class (16/20). Okay, yes, she ignored all my spelling and grammatical errors, and yes I know that she added a few (or several) points just for the fact that I'm foreign and managed to write more than a page. And I did get lucky because it was an in-class essay about the French philosophes, whom I studied last year in World History. But it made me happy nonetheless. Happy, but very embarrassed because teachers here have a habit of announcing your grade to the whole class (and in this case forcing them to give a round of applause). I hope they don't all hate me now.

This week was so up and down for me. There were moments where the shyness really took over and I couldn't think of a word to say. In those moments I became more self-conscious than I have been since that horrible excuse for a year, 6th grade. I was close to tears a couple times. But there were also moments where I stopped caring what people thought and allowed myself to let go and have more fun. Those moments were fleeting, but they made me super happy so I am determined to find a way to make them stay longer. So a roller coaster. But overall I do think I have some real friends now, and that is such a good feeling to have. A feeling I definitely took for granted in the USA.

Not a lot of excitement to report this week. But next week I will be able to recount my first French Thanksgiving! I have school all day thursday, but I am planning to make a big traditional American Thanksgiving dinner next Saturday. I have to admit, I am incredible daunted. I want it to be good. I will let you know how it goes! Bisous, au revoir!