Merry Christmas

It's vacation! I hope everyone is thoroughly enjoying these two weeks, relaxing and eating good food and not stressing about junior year finals (or whatever else it is that you stress about). Sophomore year was so stressful for me that I can only imagine what my junior friends must be enduring, so I really hope you are taking this break to rejuvenate and spend time with family and friends and watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas on TV. Personally, I am doing alright at not stressing too much about school and trying instead to explore this beautiful country, but I do get depressed when I don't feel on top of things and even more depressed when I feel like my teachers are not impressed with me so I tried to make the last week of school count. I took notes for the entire 3 hours of economics on wednesday and I wrote a 3 page essay about an excerpt from a love letter by Denis Diderot (which I didn't turn in because she told us to turn it in on friday but we don't have french class on fridays so I was confused--but still, I did write it). Now that it is the second week of vacation I will start studying for the tests awaiting me when the holidays end, but I have successfully not thought about school since a man came into my history class on friday and said the buses weren't working because of snow so we could all go home.

That snow that showed up on friday kept on falling well into saturday and left us with 35 centimeters total. 35 centimeters is enough to leave our little village completely blocked off from the rest of the world. And it means that when the sun comes out on Sunday, the only thing to do after a big family lunch is have a giant snowball fight and go sledding and begin building a snowman (but stopping after you realize your hands are getting frostbite due to lack of gloves). I am definitely still digging this snow thing.

After the snow melted a bit, Alice and I hopped on the train for Paris. We got there tuesday at lunch time and spent a little while wandering the streets before we took the next train to her uncle's house which is just an hour outside the city. Then on wednesday, Disneyland!! A full day of waiting in lines (slightly less long than in Florida but still long) and riding roller coasters and eating gross mexican food and running around looking for mickey, who we never found. It was fun. And at the end, when the rain came, the lines shortened down to five minutes so we did our favorite rides again. It was fun. A good taste of the American lifestyle, but with crepe stands instead of dip'n'dots. We went back to the streets of Paris on thursday for a couple hours and then sprinted to catch our train home. Which apparently, every other citizen of Paris did as well. I was stuck standing in the entry way of the train with 32 other people for two and a half hours, and Alice was in a different compartment doing the same thing. That was maybe the low point of my vacation so far.

And then, finally, it was Christmas Eve. That's where the holidays start to become bittersweet. I have been having a great time, and I am so happy to be here. But there is a big part of me that wanted to be home. I miss the caroling and making christmas cookies and bonfires and stockings (no stockings in France) and waffles on christmas morning and party weekend in St. Petersburg and all of the holiday traditions in which I have participated every year since birth. And I'd been feeling this more and more in the week before the holidays and then as they began, but on Christmas Eve I really felt it. It's hard to be away from family so long. And it's hard to be without them at the time of year with so many traditions that you have never missed before. But it was also exciting to see how the holidays are celebrated here. Fun to compare cultural traditions.

Christmas Eve was giant family meal number one. It was dinner and we went over to Lucie and Romain (older host sister + husband)'s house. Romain's family all came over too so there were many people I didn't know which was a bit overwhelming. I helped out setting the table and serving appetizers in order to feel more comfortable and not just sit awkwardly with a bunch of strangers. Being a part of the production put me a little more at ease. The meal was incredible. First appetizers, little pieces of bread with toppings, and champagne. Then foie gras with jam and bread. I didn't love the foie gras, but that may be because I made the mistake of asking how it was and getting a very graphic answer. After the foie gras we had lobster with a special sauce and that I liked. The next course was coq au vin (rooster cooked in wine), belle peppers stuffed with rice, and gratin, a dish with lots potatoes and cheese and cream. The coq au vin was really delicious. Then came the cheese and salad. Then finally, dessert, the traditional buche de noel. We were still at the table at 11:30 at night. Part of the length, though, was due to a visit from Santa Clause in between the lobster and the coq au vin. He came in the front door and everyone sang a song to welcome him. He handed out two bags full of presents for the younger children and then everyone sang again and he left. It was a big production. I wish I knew the song! We got home at about 1:30 in the morning, and as I had been falling asleep since before the dessert came out, I pretty much collapsed in to bed on arrival.

And yesterday, Christmas! First all the siblings and their children came over for present unwrapping (the pile was demolished in about 15 minutes). Then we went over to the grandparents' house for a big lunch (foie gras again, salmon, vegetable puree and lamb chops, cheese and salad, and buche de noel) and more presents for the kids (that makes 3 rounds of present opening for the young ones). We stayed there all afternoon arguing over what movie to watch on TV and playing trivial pursuit. We also played a card game, and I participated but had no idea what was going on in the game. Apparently our team one, and apparently I helped, but I was really lost. We stayed for dinner and then returned back home. After skype-ing with my family for a little while, Alice and I watched 500 Days of Summer and one episode of Friends, and then finally fell asleep.

It was nice, Christmas. It's fun seeing everyone's reactions when they open up their presents and the food was really amazing. I did have a really good time. I miss home, I miss christmas in Florida and seeing all of my family and Florida friends, but it was nice. Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to everyone back home, hope it was amazing. I would love to hear all about it!

Still Good, But...

The last few weeks have been some of my best socially. I am finally feeling a bit more comfortable with my peers. I almost feel like a real member of the group, not just a tag-along. Good days have been frequent, and I have learned not to take good days for granted so that makes them even better. But every now and then a bad day comes up. A day where I feel completely lost and confused. Those days come out of nowhere and leave me wondering why I feel like crying if things have been going so well. I did some reflecting, and I think I understand why.

Coming to France for me was really like starting over again. No one here knows me. No one knows what I was like before. My first day of school, someone offered me a cigarette and wouldn't have been shocked if I accepted. Back home no one would offer because they know I would refuse. I knew who I was in California, and I had a whole lot of people around me to support what I knew. And so I was comfortable and I didn't doubt myself very often. I wasn't very self conscious; I had finally gotten past that phase. But now no one knows me. And as a result I sometimes stop knowing myself. I remember sixth grade, a year where I was so self conscious and so timid in everything I did. I hadn't yet figured out who I was. And then throughout seventh and eighth grade I gained confidence and stopped worrying. Coming to France was like being shot back to sixth grade, except now with a new language on top of everything. I have learned a lot about myself in these last three months and my confidence is slowly coming back. But there are still days where I doubt myself and every decision I make or have made. Like I don't trust myself to be the same person. I think I am the same person. After trying out a lot of new things and living differently for a little while, I realize that I eventually make the same decisions I would have made in California. I do know myself and what I need, but coming to a place where no one knows me, it is easy to wonder if everything I know is wrong. Things I'm learning about myself may not be all that different from the things I learned in sixth grade, but they need to be learned again. And there are days when that gets hard.

Thursday was a bad day. Thursday was a lost and confused day where I wished my mom could be here and reassure me that I was smart and am going in the right direction. But Friday picked me back up and put me back on track. Friday was a good day, where I stopped feeling self conscious and just enjoyed talking to people and living my life. Before, the bad days were more like bad weeks. Now just a day here and there. So that means I'm really doing better. I am making friends, and I have never been so appreciative to have friends, so each friendship feels so so amazing. I think I am on the right track and moving in the right direction, there are just moments where I forget that.

Yesterday (Saturday) was also great because I spent it in Paris! It wasn't an extended stay, but it was great all the same. Alice and I just zipped over with enough time to drink a coffee, eat a crepe, and buy a New Year's Eve dress and we were back in time for dinner. It actually didn't feel tight or cramped, just a nice day enjoying the city. I think we are going to try and return for a few days over the holidays (just one more week of school!), which will be nice because we will be able to see the city at night with all the decorations and lights for Christmas. But this time it was just a quick stop over. Nice to breath the Paris air and walk the Paris streets. Then I spent the night watching the Lion King in bed with a cup of tea. Need to rest and make this last week of school count before the crazy holiday season.

Miss everyone. With the holidays coming up I am thinking a lot about being in Florida singing carols with the family and making christmas cookies and bonfires. Please take pictures of your lives and show them to me somehow! I will do the same. Lots of love. A la prochaine.

Harry Potter, Thanksgiving, and Snow!

First of all, sorry. I didn't update my blog last week because I am a terrible person. The weekend was busy and then the week was busy and then it was Thursday and I thought I might as well just wait for the next Sunday. But I hope that means that this post will be more interesting because it covers two weeks instead of one.

So I did see Harry Potter, and it was dubbed in French. Some of the voices were fitting but some, like Hermione's, were just weird. I'm sad to have missed seeing the premier at midnight with the right voices and everyone dressed up and crazy but I suppose I'll just have to be satisfied with Part 2. It was fun though, and I did like the movie. I thought it was true to the book. And they didn't leave that much out. I thought the acting was fantastic; it looked like people really put their hearts into it. The group of people I went with took up about two rows which was fun as well. I think we might have been annoying at times for other people but that's okay. I did not see it in 3D but the only thing I saw that was definitely meant for 3D was the snake, and that was scary enough as it is. When the snake jumped out at Godric's Hollow I practically jumped out of my seat. What did you all think of the movie? Over all I think they are getting better and better at representing the books.

The day after Harry Potter was thursday and therefore Thanksgiving, but every thursday I have school from 8:30 until 6PM so that doesn't leave much time to cook a huge feast. I pushed my Thanksgiving to saturday. I was incredibly daunted to try and cook a whole Thanksgiving dinner on my own, but I didn't feel rushed or worried at all. It was fun to cook all day. My host mother helped a lot with the meat (we didn't find a whole turkey but we had a few large turkey legs in addition to a whole chicken) and the stuffing which was great but otherwise I did everything, starting at about 9AM with the pumpkin and apple pies. There were times where I had to get creative, like soaking dried cranberries in water for a few hours to get them to inflate because fresh cranberries don't exist in France, but things mostly went as planned. My only moment of panic was came when I saw the inside of the sweet potatoes I had bought were not orange and freaked out thinking they were just regular potatoes, but that was solved by a simple taste test that affirmed their sweetness. The full menu was turkey/chicken, cooked mixed vegetables, hot spiced cider, a really good beat dish that I'd made once before, stuffing, sweet potato biscuits, mashed potatoes, cranberry relish, pumpkin pie, and apple pie. I invited a few of my closest friends over for dinner. We all got dressed up and it was really nice. Then after the meal, Alice and I invited a bunch more people over for a party, which was fun too. I ended up having a great Thanksgiving.

Not too long ago I talked about meeting my first real Autumn with all the changing leaves and such. Well, Autumn is gone and Winter has come storming in. That means....Snow Days!! At this rate, with strikes and blocking the school and now snow, no one will learn anything and we will all fail our tests and have to repeat the year. But that's okay because I got to go sledding instead of sitting through economics and history. Okay, yes, I have seen snow before, and I've gone sledding before, and I have had snowball fights and hot chocolate and all that. But it's different. It's different when you see the snow falling from your classroom window. It's different when you go to sleep to fields of green and wake up with everything blanketed in white. It's magic. And also cold. Thursday was our first snow day and I didn't take advantage of it because I was exhausted but I luckily got another shot Friday. We actually went to the school Friday but didn't go to any classes because there were no students in class and some teachers were missing too (schools don't close hear because of snow, it's just that the buses stop working and no one shows up). It was nice, we just got to see our friends and walk around the town looking for a place that sells sleds. Then around 4:00 ish we walked over to a huge hill by one girls house and took turns sledding and taking pictures. I was kind of looking at this winter as a test to see if I could really handle going to college in a place where it snows, and the answer is definitely yes. Snow is amazing. You just can't forget the long underwear.

Things have been going well the last few weeks. I feel like I'm connecting with people more and I'm starting to understand my classes (which my teachers make sure everyone else knows, which is embarrassing). I'm still too quiet and shy with many people, especially the attractive boy-type people, but I think I'm making progress. Gonna keep trying to make some more.

Love you and miss you all!

Failure and Success

You know those tests I took last week (Math, French, and Economics)? Well I got my grades back. Math was pretty much as expected, 14.5/20. That may not sound too great for you Americans, and as I am American as well my face fell a bit at the score, but here a 14 is around an A- or B+ so I'm not really that fussed. Economics...well there is no way to make a 2.5/20 sound good. There is no way to make it sound even remotely acceptable. I was expecting around 4 at least, but I'm trying not to stress too much. I did start a rigorous new studying routine, though, with flash cards and everything. The problem is that I spend a lot of energy studying economics and then have none left for my other classes. But I'm aiming for at least an 8 on the next test. Okay, 6. Then there is French. I was certain before taking the test that I was destined for a miserable failure, but in fact I received the best grade of the class (16/20). Okay, yes, she ignored all my spelling and grammatical errors, and yes I know that she added a few (or several) points just for the fact that I'm foreign and managed to write more than a page. And I did get lucky because it was an in-class essay about the French philosophes, whom I studied last year in World History. But it made me happy nonetheless. Happy, but very embarrassed because teachers here have a habit of announcing your grade to the whole class (and in this case forcing them to give a round of applause). I hope they don't all hate me now.

This week was so up and down for me. There were moments where the shyness really took over and I couldn't think of a word to say. In those moments I became more self-conscious than I have been since that horrible excuse for a year, 6th grade. I was close to tears a couple times. But there were also moments where I stopped caring what people thought and allowed myself to let go and have more fun. Those moments were fleeting, but they made me super happy so I am determined to find a way to make them stay longer. So a roller coaster. But overall I do think I have some real friends now, and that is such a good feeling to have. A feeling I definitely took for granted in the USA.

Not a lot of excitement to report this week. But next week I will be able to recount my first French Thanksgiving! I have school all day thursday, but I am planning to make a big traditional American Thanksgiving dinner next Saturday. I have to admit, I am incredible daunted. I want it to be good. I will let you know how it goes! Bisous, au revoir!

The French Cinema and My First Autumn

Sorry I didn't get a post up yesterday. I had the opportunity to stay up talking to my host sister instead and took that option. I have been here for over two months, but I'm still acting a little bit sycophantically with people in the hopes of cementing a friendship. Every time someone wants to do something with me or just talk, I jump on the opportunity. I'll do things they want to do even if I'm tired or need to update a blog. I think it's working, a bit. But anyways, I'm here now. Although this will probably end up being a short update.

By the way, I learned the word "sycophantically" from Harry Potter. Which is almost in theaters!!! It doesn't come out here until the 24th, but I am soooo excited! I plan to see it with as many people as I can. People are talking about it here but they are definitely not as super-psyched as my American facebook friends. It's anticipated, but not in the "OMG I CAN'T HANDLE THIS" type of way. I wonder if it will be dubbed? That would be interesting. I enjoy going out to movies here. The theaters are pretty much identical to those of the US, so it's not a very different experience, but it's fun all the same. So far I have been to three movies here, of which only one was French, but all were with French voices. They do a good job of dubbing, though, to the point where it looks like the actors could be speaking French. It makes it a tiny bit more difficult to understand every line, but I'm finding that I can follow the plot just fine. Saturday night I saw "Due Date" and I understood it enough to get some of the jokes which I think is promising. My comprehension is lightyears past where it was at my arrival; I'm even starting to dream in French sometimes. I do still wish that the rest of the fluency would hurry up and get here. I still stumble while I talk and while I am aware of my grammatical errors, I find it really hard to not make them when I am trying to speak fast. But I am happy to notice the improvement in my comprehension. In fact, my main frustrations now don't have to do with not understanding. My main frustrations now are when people think I don't understand when I do. Every time I didn't hear something and say "huh?" they assume I didn't get it and sometimes when I nod my agreement to a statement they think I just don't want to ask for clarification. They think I'm doing the whole "just nod and smile" thing, when actually I do know what they said. It doesn't help with the confusion that my speaking skills aren't as good as my understanding skills. I'm hoping this won't be too long of a phase.

The Swedes have returned to their country. I miss them a little, they were cool people and it was fun to laugh and let loose around them. I hope I will see them again someday. As soon as I get home I am going to get a job and start saving money for a return trip to Europe, and maybe then I can drop by Sweden and see just how cold it really is. Speaking of cold, it is cold. Colder than Berkeley cold, finally. Cold enough that there are days when my hands sting in the open air. This is just Fall so I wonder what I'll be saying around Christmas. But while the cold may be a drawback, there are also advantages to having seasons, which you don't really get in Berkeley. All the leaves have changed color and are stunning. There are a lot of trees in Normandie, and when you look out the window you see a sea of red and yellow and orange. It's even better at sunset (which occurs before I get out of school some days) with additions of pink and purple. I can see why the painters here were so inspired.

I had three tests last week. Math was okay, French was better than expected, and Economics was a disaster as expected. I would love to go in after school for some help, but I never know where to find the teachers because they have no set classroom or teachers' lounge. I will just have to survive with my textbooks and occasionally a sympathetic classmate. I'm hoping that the next round of tests will be an improvement. I mean, the all around goal is just to keep improving, right?

Much love from across the ocean! And again, if you can, write to me!

Invasion of the Swedish

Vacation is over. No more lounging around the house, time for tests and homework and loooong school days (on thursday it was dark when I woke up and dark when I finished school at 6:00 PM). It was only two days of school this week, which in usual circumstances would be nice to ease us back into the routine, but actually it has felt like diving into a whirlwind of activity. That's because there is a group of about 30 Swedish students here in town. Each one is staying with their French correspondant, or pen-pal, for the week and the French students have planned lots of activities and such for them. A welcome dinner Thursday night, bowling Friday, shopping in Caen Saturday afternoon, and then a party Saturday night. And there is more to come. That on top of schoolwork and whatnot is a lot going on, so it's kind of a shock to my system. But in a good way. I was wanting more social interaction.

The first day the Swedish were here, I was a bit wary. I think everyone was nervous and communication was hard so it was a bit awkward. They don't speak much French and the French don't speak much English. Actually, a lot of the time I am the translater which makes me feel really good about my language skills. But after that first day it has been great; I am really glad they are here. I haven't talked to all the Swedish girls, but the ones I've met are super nice and funny. I spent the day in Caen yesterday with some Swedish girls and had so much fun laughing and showing them around, and introducing them to delicious crepes. And because I was having such a good time, I let go of my inhibitions with the French people and talked to them a lot more as well. I guess when I am alone, it is easy to be scared and self conscious, but when I have people who are kind of in the same boat and are really friendly to support me, I stop caring about what others think so much and start just having a good time and talking. And the Swedish think my French is great so that gives me a little more confidence.

Speaking of speaking French, I think I am past the hardest part. I think I can even say that I understand fluently. I understand almost everything, even when they speak really fast. I don't speak fluently yet, and I haven't dreamt in French yet, but I speak well enough to be understood. Sometimes it is still hard to understand when my classmates slip into deep slang, but even then I can get the gist. It was actually hard switching to English with the Swedes, I had to talk for a while to warm up and speak smoothly again. It's a little confusing, switching back and forth, and sometimes I'll accidentally speak in French to the Swedish or in English to the French. But It's getting more comfortable and feeling easier. It worries me, though, that switching to English is hard, because that means after I return to America it will be hard to switch back to French.

Anyway, I am loving all these activities with the Swedish and feeling a lot more confident this week. I can bet that I'll be exhausted when they leave, but I am hoping adrenaline can carry me through until then. What else can I update you on? Well in History class I got back a test marked 8 out of 20, which may not sound so good, but the average was around 12 and the highest grade was 15. It still may not sound so good, but at least it was good enough to be graded, in science my test didn't receive a grade. I have a Math test Monday, French test Tuesday, and Economics test Wednesday, all of which I will start studying for after I finish writing this. All the leaves on the trees are golden and yellow and orange and red, which is beautiful, but the weather is steadily getting colder. The Swedish think it's really warm here, actually. Me, not so much. I think that is all there is to update this week. Miss everyone so so much! Write me and tell me about your lives!

Bisous!

Just a quick notice

Hey people. So this week, instead of writing my blog here, I will post something on facebook and then send emails to people who don't have a facebook. If you'd like to read it and I don't have your email address, just email me and I'll send you the post. I'll explain why I'm doing it this way in the full update. Thanks!

Let's Talk Politics.

I am from Berkeley, California. The people who know it either know it for the university or for it's political reputation. Berkeley, and the whole San Francisco bay area are known for our discontent with the way things in America are run. The home of the hippie movement and the black panthers, the place where "Columbus Day" is known as "Indigenous Peoples Day." We are "always" protesting wars and raising our voices. We are nothing compared to La France. A few months ago, I thought being Obama would be the hardest job in the world because no one can agree and no one is satisfied with anything he does. The left thinks he's not doing enough and the right thinks he's doing too much. Well, after almost two months in this country, I think I have to say that being the president of France would be harder. In the US, people may be unhappy, but they don't act upon their unhappiness all that much. In France, they act.

Things are getting scary here. I know I have mentioned in almost all my blogs a strike or a protest that has resulted in fewer classes. There protest marches are continuing and becoming more frequent. In the cities they can be even riot-like, with people who break shop windows and jump on cars. They are now adding different forms of protest into the mix as well. There is a gas shortage because people "blocked" the oil refinery which means they put up a ton of barriers so that no one can get in and work. They are also doing this at schools, my school being a participent. What this means is every morning before it is light out the more political students search for anything to keep the gate closed, be that planks of wood or trash cans or chairs or tables. Then the other students arrive and, much to their disappointment, can't get to class. So I haven't had school since last thursday (the...14th I believe).

A couple days ago the national news channel featured my school as an example of this type of protest, called a "blocus". There was also another example of a school in a bigger city and things were getting a bit rowdier over there. What left the biggest impression on me was footage of a high school kid being shot by a police man with a paralyzer. It was ment to just stun him, which to me is bad enough because in the footage this kid didn't appear to be way out of line, but it hit him in the eye and disfigured his face. I turned, shocked, to my host mother and asked if it was legal for police to do that sort of thing. She responded that the police can get very violent in France. I believe her. I always wonder in these situations what the police man is thinking. Why doesn't he sympathize with the cause? The reform affects him too. How did he feel when he pulled the trigger with the goal of stunning a young kid that could be his child?

I said in one blog post that I didn't know if I thought the reform was that big of a deal. I have to admit, my opinion has changed a bit. The minimum age for retirement is 62, but it also depends on the number of years you've worked. So if you go to college and don't start working until your late 20s, you'll end up still working by the age of 70. That does seem unfair to me. At the same time, I still have my doubts. Is it worth disfigured faces? I don't know. Is there no other way to protest than by destroying shops windows? I still don't know every detail of French politics of course, so I am probably missing a piece of the puzzle.

Being here during all this is exciting. It scares me a bit, but it is fascinating to see the way other countries are run. What is considered radical in the USA, protests and riots, is normal here. People are shocked when I say that I have only been to a few protest marches in my life. It just illustrates how arbitrary social and cultural norms are and how different countries can interpret things in very different ways. It is fascinating. And, it does mean that I get two weeks of vacation, whether I agree with the cause or not.

With that extra week of no school, my host sister and I went to stay in Caen (the biggest city in Normandy) with my host brother and his girlfriend. They have an appartement there and attend one of the universities. We stayed from Sunday night to Wednesday morning, and it was great. It made me want to go to college and have my own appartement and do my own grocery shopping and choose what I am going to do all day. Like I said last week, I like independence. Alice and I went shopping on Monday where I succeeded in finding a jacket that is both warm and fashionable, but I failed to find a sweater that met those requirements. I'm actually terrified of winter; if there is snow I don't know what I will do. They told us to pack light and not bring too much stuff. They should have told us to bring every warm item in every closet in the house. I definitely feel a bit underprepared. That night we went out to a movie, "Despicable Me", which was dubbed in French. I understood it! Yay! I think cartoons are good teachers because they exaggerate everything so much that you can follow the story and learn some new vocabulary. Tuesday was a relaxed day but we went out in the afternoon to the French version of Best Buy, and afterwords to get crepes and coffee. I felt French.

I think I'm going to Paris tomorrow! I'm really excited to see more of the city and of course see the family friends who invited me. I just hope I don't run into one of those mean police men...

Also, I'm still shy, but I'm trying to talk more. I really am. It has been difficult with no school because I'm not around everyone as much so I don't have as many opportunities. I will keep trying! And I've started watching friends in French. Sometimes I turn off the english subtitles, and I do understand the plot, but I miss a lot of the jokes so it's not as fun. I'll know I'm speaking good French when I turn of the subtitles and am still laughing my head off.

Miss you all so so so much.

Still Swimming

This week was better. After the AFS reunion last weekend I was motivated to talk to people and keep trying. Well, minus thursday, I think I did talk more and be less shy. Tuesday was a strike day so I only had three hours of school and used the free time to go into town with some Frenchies who could show me around a bit. Wednesday was awesome because I actually understood my SES (economics) class and now have a vague idea of what is going on. That is the class with the teacher that talks a million words per minute, so this is a huge accomplishment. Huge. My comprehension goes up and down from day to day, but overall it is definitely improving. It was best Wednesday though, and I noticed that the day before that I didn't go on the computer all day. I think there's a correlation, because going on line means not being immersed in french anymore. So I'm starting a new internet diet, only a few times per week. We'll see how long my resolve lasts. But one with my week. Thursday was a down day. I was missing home and I was feeling extra timid and we had P.E. that day and I'm a terrible handball player. But whatever, it's done and Friday was back to being good. There was a "blocus" at school which meant people put up barriers that didn't allow anyone in as another form of protest. It's a common thing in France, for example the oil refinery was also blocked off. I've never heard of it in America. Anyway, no school so for most of the morning I was just hanging out outside the school with people. It was good because I did manage to talk more.  I hope I can keep this up.

Things that were weird for me at first aren't as weird anymore. I'm getting used to boys using a lot of gel in their hair and I'm getting used to teachers just telling you the assignment once. I am not surprised when there is a protest or a strike anymore. It is normal for me to find the TV on with the news, and I don't giggle anymore when I see people walking down the street with five baguettes. I'm even used to the kissing-on-both-cheeks-to-say-hello thing. I like it. But I still don't know the exact etiquette. In America, I had the etiquette totally down for when to smile at someone (even down to teeth versus no teeth), when to wave and when to hug. But here I have to just follow the other person's lead. And I wonder, what happens after a couple breaks up or friends get in a fight? Do they still kiss? Because that would be kind of awkward...

Last night I went to a show. It was a combination of circus acrobatics and dance. It was pretty amazing. It was the first show I've been to here, and when I got to the theater I realized I'd been missing that. I go to a ton of shows in Berkeley because every week Alex Senauke has another play and I have a lot of talented friends in general. Not only was the show artistic and creative and astounding (the muscles! oh la vache!), but I just enjoyed the atmosphere. I got the feeling that French people go out to shows and performances more often than Americans, and everyone was excited to be there. I can't wait till the next show. Also, I think in the spring I have a dance performance too. I'm excited.

They say you learn about yourself while you are here. I know it is still the beginning and I have a lot more to learn, but there are some things I didn't really know before. I do not like being ignored; I like to be in the midst of things and I like talking to people. I like to be independent. You might think that going away for a year is incredibly independent, but a lot of times I feel like a little kid, needing others to help me get basic things. I don't like when people worry over me, but It is necessary while I still have the language skills of a five year old. I do care what people think about me, even if in the USA I said I didn't. I am very self conscious here. I love tomatoes, could eat them with every meal. I like to run. I hated running back home. Here it clears my mind and feels great. Lastly, I have learned that I like Halloween, which I always thought of as my least favorite holiday. I like how excited everyone gets leading up to it and preparing the decorations and costumes. I guess I just like atmospheres where everyone is really excited and into it, like theme parks or shows or Halloween. It's only been like a month and a half, so I wonder what else I will learn...

I miss home. At first, it just came in random days but now it's pretty constant. I don't want to be back home because I am so glad to be here and even with the struggles I'm enjoying it. But I want to just  see everyone for a minute or too. I miss all my friends and family. I also miss mexican food, although I'm planning on making a mexican dinner one night. Maybe enchiladas. Yummm. But yes, I really do miss you all. Hope everyone is doing well. Write me! I like letters, and I like hearing all the boring details about your lives :).

Until next time!

AFS Weekend

Right when I was starting to feel like this was getting really hard, right when the frustration and homesickness started to kick in, this weekend came along and lifted me back up. This weekend was the first AFS reunion for my chapter in Normandy, so the first time I've seen the other Normandy kids since we drove off in different directions to start our new lives. We are 10 in Normandy, two swiss, one german, one russian, one chinese, one brazilian, two american, one danish and one norwegian.  We met up around 2ish on Saturday, and it was immediately comfortable. There was no awkward silence to start off. As soon as everyone was together, we set off for the "party room" where we ate our meals and swapped stories and slept incredibly uncomfortably.

At about 3:30 we went to a carnival together. It was jam-packed because it is here for just the weekend.. I know some people hate crowds and rides and all things carnival-y, but I am definitely an amusent park kind of person. There were tons of stands with crepes and churros and other frenchy snacks and also stands with baguettes and sausages and turkish kebabs and even cotton candy. There were lots of stands selling clothes or other knick-knacks, like the flea markets back home. But there were also rides, which made it about 10000000 times better than a flea market. It was overall just fun, being with friends and being in the middle of something so energetic.

It was the first time in a month that I really really felt like I had friends again. I love the french and they are really very nice to me. But it's different. With them, I am so shy and can't show who I am and what I'm really thinking. Small talk only gets you so far. With the AFS kids, even though we are all from different countries and cultures and backgrounds, it is so easy to talk and laugh and be myself. I feel like I have known them all ages. I think it is because we are all sharing such a huge experience and know how everyone else is feeling, so it is easy to let go. It is also, of course, easier to be myself in English, but I think that even if we had all been speaking in french I would have felt comfortable. I had completely forgotten what it felt like that first weekend here, how easy it was to make friends, and it was nice to be reminded. We shared good and bad stories about our host-families, complained about tests and taking notes in school, laughed ourselves silly over the volunteers who had had a few too many drinks, and remarked on all the crazy cultural differences. We are not all from the same culture so some of our observations were different (like the Brazilian thinks the coffee is way too weak while the other American finds it very strong), but a lot of our observations were actually the same. We all noticed how much the French like deserts and we all think that the teachers expect you to do more on your own. I loved hearing all the different stories and interpretations, probably could have kept talking for days.

Dinner was good and french. For beverages, we had the option of orange juice, water, coca cola, or wine. Yes, AFS served us alcohol. After dinner we had interviews with the volunteers where we talked about our integration at home and school. Then, around midnight, we had a rousing game of musical chairs, which I apparently suck at. After that it was just more talking and hanging out, finally falling to sleep somewhere around 3 or 4 in the morning. This morning we had breakfast and then walked around the little square near us. The sun was out and beautiful and the grass was green and soft. Eventually our families arrived and it was time to leave. I didn't really want to say goodbye, but I am determined to see those people again soon. The weekend was such a pick-me-up. A reminder of why I'm here. It motivated me to keep trying to talk and make friends at school and reassured me that others are going through the same thing.

School is still school. I had a history test friday. It was hard. I'm starting to get used to the schedule; I even remembered all my classes on monday without looking at my timetable. This week was a bit harder because I felt less motivated. It was harder to stay focused. But I think I can regain that focus, so no worries. It is late so I've gotta go. Miss you all!!

Struggles

Struggles:

Exhaustion. You are fine one week, and then all of a sudden it knocks you over the head. The adrenaline that has been feeding you for the month runs out, and the exhaustion comes charging in. The first day I was tired enough to have trouble keeping my eyes open, I figured it was just because I'd had a difficult day and gotten more exercise than I have in a while. Then, after two more days of the same feeling, I realized that this exhaustion may take a while to shake off (and it doesn't help that I just woke up at 8:30 after going to bed near 3 AM). To understand French, I have to pay attention. Once I stop trying to understand, I stop understanding. I can let my mind wander when someone is speaking English and still register what they are saying. Not in French. And paying constant attention, struggling to separate the words in the sentences my teachers or friends say, that's tiring. When I take notes, I will focus on writing a word and then realize I have missed five more words that the teacher said while I was writing. And then, if I have overcome the struggle to keep up and take notes (or just copied my neighbor's notes), there is the new struggle of trying to understand them and learn about the Industrial Revolution. That's tiring too. I'm tired.

Homework. School work in general. The teachers don't write assignments on the board or hand you a typed sheet of important dates. They tell you once and then it's up to you to remember. And you can't go in and ask them after school, because they change classrooms every period and you don't know where they'll be. Many times I get to school and there was an assignment I had never heard or a test I didn't know about. You say to yourself, "oh there is a half day on Wednesday, I can catch up then." Wednesday comes, and you look at your assignments, and you realize you don't understand 9/10ths of the work. Pretty soon, you realize that in Economics you have about a thousand uncompleted work sheets.

Eating. It may not sound hard, but switching up the main meal of the day is really confusing. Lunch is the huge meal, not dinner. Breakfast is not really a full meal. But I get hungry at breakfast, really hungry. I'm used to my dad's huge weekend breakfasts of popovers and waffles and homefries and eggs. So I end up eating about four bowls of cereal. Then lunch comes along, and I am barely hungary. But lunch is when all the delicious food is served! Dinner will probably be leftovers from lunch the day before; this is my chance to enjoy French cuisine. That is a dilema. My lactose intolerance hasn't actually caused me that many problems because my family understands and is very willing to help me out. They don't always understand what I can't eat, but I have never gone to a meal and found nothing to munch on. When in doubt, there is always bread. No, the real problems come from the schedule. I better get used to it soon.

Missing my family and friends. When I am talking to people or dancing (had my first hip hop class this week, too early to tell if I really love it or not) or working or watching gossip girl with Alice I feel fine. It is when things slow down, when people stop trying to talk to me, when there is nothing to do, that the missing feelings come out of the woodwork. I start to think that if only this person was here, they could cheer me up and make me laugh. If only my parents were here to vent to, and give me words of encouragement. It hasn't been too much of a problem, because most of the time things are happening and I am caught up in marveling at France and all things French. But there have been a couple days where I really feel it.

Rain. Cold. More rain. Wind. Maybe snow this winter. And rain. It is not a good sign for your health when your toes start to turn blue. And it is not a good sign of your intelligence when you are wearing shoes that allow you to see your toes in weather that can turn them blue.


But don't worry, it's not all bad. Not even mostly bad. Just a little bit hard sometimes. Mostly, I love it here. I feel like I am really starting to make some friends. Comprehension is slowly becoming easier. Speaking is still hard, but it looks like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I love going into town and browsing the shops and buying a crepe or a pastry to snack on. Karate is fun, and it feels great to get exercise. Art class was more interesting this week (there was a lot of doing nothing in the previous classes). I got 100 percent on my math test, which is a rare score in France. The grading is really different here. It is on a 20 point scale, and a 10 is like a C. 14 is a great score, and higher than that is hard to achieve. Not in math, because there is always a right and wrong answer. But in other classes, the grading is pretty subjective. If everyone gets an 8 in the class, 8 is good. If everyone gets 16, 8 is awful. Passing depends on weather the teacher wants to pass you. I'm not sure exactly how the grading is going to translate to the American school system...

The French school system has given me an appreciation for the American school system. Not to say it is bad, there are a lot of good things about it. The languages are way superior to the way languages are taught in America. It annoys me that all the French kids are able to speak better English than I am able to speak French. They are probably even reading this right now. But here, by your junior year of high school you have to know what you want to do for the rest of your life. You have to choose between S (sciences), ES (economics and social sciences--I chose this one) or L (literature) and that choice will effect the jobs you can get later in life. If you want to be a doctor, you absolutely have to choose S. That is a lot of pressure for a 16 year old. All the teachers (with the exception of maybe my English teacher) really know their stuff, though. They are all definitely qualified to teach, which I can not say about some BHS teachers. But the myth that the French are way ahead of us isn't really true (I heard that about the school system before I left); I have already learned everything in math class so far and lots in history. I guess I'm saying I expected it to be a whole lot better hear. It's not better or worse, just different. There are things I prefer in America, and things I prefer here.

Quickly, before I go make pancakes for my French friends. I love learning the slang here. They say "C'est chaud!" which literally means "that's hot!" here to say "that's hard" or "that's difficult." I told them what "hot" was slang for in America; they found it pretty funny.

That's all for now! Au revoir!!

Trip to Rouen and Overall Update

The gas stations here are hilarious. From the outside, they look completely american. You could be in Detroit, not Normandy. But inside the stores, they sell expensive cheese and baguettes and apple tarts and bags of sweet belgian waffles. It made me laugh. I encountered a gas station yesterday because we spent the entire day in Rouen, and driving was involved in getting there. After seeing Rouen, I can kind of understand why the French kids say Flers is boring and unattractive. It was beautiful. Cobblestone streets and old fashioned French appartements where the wood structuring of each building was painted a different color. Rouen is the town in which Joan of Arc was convicted and burned, so we visited the site of her burning and the church next to it. There was amazing stain glass inside the church. Breath-taking. We also saw, but didn't go inside, a giant cathedral, that was so detailed it was hard to fathom creating it. I am not religious, but I have to admire how religion has inspired some of the most incredible art in the world. Then again, it also inspired burning a girl for heresy who just freed a town from the English for the government that burned her and the crusades, so I don't know.

We got to Rouen at about 11:30 and looked for a place for lunch after marveling at the scenery a bit. We settled on a tiny little restaurant on a tiny little ally. Lunch was delicious: an appetizer of salad and cheese (I just had salad) and a main meal of some kind of beef stew (specific to Normandy) and pasta. For desert, tart tatin. Completely delicious, and my first real experience of eating out in France. After lunch, Alice and I went and browsed some shops for an hour, but didn't buy anything. Then it was time to see an impressionist painting exhibit at the museum. Apparently, Rouen was a favorite painting site for many impressionists, including Monet, Gaugin, and Pissaro. I love painting exhibits, and the art was beautiful, but the whole world decided to visit on the same day and it was difficult to get around. After a while, it became too much, and Alice and I returned to the streets for shopping. We looked at many different stores, and the clothes were all very nice and chic, even more so than Flers. They were also expensive. Really expensive. I know it's french, and everything, but I couldn't bring myself to spend 200 euros on a sweater. I finally bought just a simple striped t-shirt at one of the lesser expensive stores. I needed some stripes because everyone wears stripes here and I had none. In the USA, I like to be original, but here I'm doing everything to fit in. We got back home at 9:30ish and I had a quick dinner and went to sleep. Great day, but long day.

Last week, I said that it felt much longer than a week. Well, if last week felt like a month, this week only felt like a couple of days. Maybe that means things are getting easier? I hope so. Or maybe it is because I actually had less school. My history teacher was absent monday, and in France there are no substitute teachers. This is much more practical than in the USA because we never actually get anything done with subs. And, it allowed me to go into town and buy a pastry with some friends, which was nice. It was also my birthday (finally finally FINALLY sixteen!) so I was in a good mood. Then thursday, there was the strike. Again. In the morning I participated in a protest with all the other high schoolers (second protest of the month--they do love their protests here), which was fun and interesting, but I'm not sure how I feel about the issue. There are protests all over France because you have to wait until 62 to get welfare rather than 60. I don't want to get on anyone's political bad side, but they have it really good in France. Great benefits and lots of vacation time. Two years of more work sucks, yes, but is it really something to get thaaaat worked up about? Anyway, I eventually went home to eat lunch. Alice told me that only the Math teacher was there, so my first and only class of the day was at 5:00 PM. There was some kind of confusion, though, because when I showed up to math class I was the only student. It was horrible. Once the teacher saw me, there was no escaping, and I was caught doing math problems in an almost empty room with Madame Hauttement hovering behind me for an hour. Horrible.

But yeah, less school. The school that I did have was still hard, but maybe not quite as much. It is getting easier to distinguish words when people talk fast, which means a bit easier to take notes in class. I find that I can usually participate in class and follow along if I really really try to pay attention. It is hard to stay motivated to pay attention, though. It is so easy to just check out and let your mind wander. I have to focus really hard on eliminating that reflex. Another thing that is hard is that sometimes I have no idea what is written on the board. In the odd chance that my teacher writes something rather than just speaking, they shorten words and use a notation that everyone knows except me. And some of their letters and numbers are written differently enough that I don't know what they are. But, one day this week I was actually able to take a few notes in SES. That was an incredible accomplishment. We had a test in SES friday, and I will be surprised if I passed, but I did manage to answer some questions. I think it must mean my language skills are improving. Sometimes I catch myself thinking in french, and when talking to my mom last week I answered "ouais" instead of "yeah" once by accident. I chose to take that as a sign that fluency will eventually get here. Oh and I forgot to mention that I am taking art at school. So far it is boring and we don't do much. I'm sticking with it, though, and holding out hope that it will improve. There are a lot of things you can teach yourself with practice, but there is a limit and eventually you want some pointers.

Socially, I'd say things are still improving. But remember Cady from Mean Girls? On her first day of school, Janis and Damien got her to skip class with them and she said something like "I know it's wrong to skip class, but Janis said we were friends. And I was in no position to pass up friends." A lot of times I feel like that. Sometimes I have to choose between listening to the teacher and shutting up or continuing my conversation with the person next to me, and I choose to continue the conversation because I'm scared of losing that chance to make friends. Like if I shut up, they will lose interest. Which is probably not true. But I'm desperate. People are really nice, though, and I have been getting better at finding ways to say things. Like even if I don't know the right vocabulary, I am sometimes able to find ways around it. There are still lots of times when I have something to say but I can't and that is so frustrating because it means that I can't really show my personality. People are nice, but they don't really know me yet.

Speaking of frustrating, the most frustrating thing in the whole wide world is when people talk about you like you aren't there. It is like being five years old again. "Does she like school?" "Yes, she is very happy there." I can always, always tell when someone is talking about me even if I can't understand every word they say. It is so easy to tell. And it drives me crazy.

Now time for some more observations. The supermarket here is a lot like any old american supermarket, except with more environmentally friendly foods. Kids here love rap and sometimes ask me to translate Eminem for them. If anyone has good enough french to translate Eminem, please let me know. Karate is different, less of an art and more actual fighting (It still feels weird to have no friends and be the last one without a partner. I miss my karate buddies!). There is a cheese bar in the school cafeteria, and every day there is an appetizer, main dish, and desert. Lastly, they never ever wear berets. Ever.

Miss you all tons! And now, pictures! Would post more but they take for-freakin-ever to upload.

                                           Rouen

                                           My host nieces and nephews

                                           My house

                                                     Rouen again.

Things are Looking Up

By the time this year is over, I will have lost five years of my life just by breathing. You know that stereotype that all French people smoke? Well it is 100% true. Okay, 99.9%, because Alice doesn't. But she is the only one. I don't know why I didn't mention this in my last blog; talk about something different from California. Maybe because I am already used to being constantly surrounded in a cloud of smoke. There are two fifteen minute breaks in the school day aside from lunch, during which everyone heads to the front of the school to puff on one or two cigarettes. The teachers say nothing. In fact sometimes they join in. Weird.

Other than smoking, I have noticed some more differences between French and American cultures. Some of them are the bigger differences I talked about last time. As I mentioned before, everyone is very stylish and always looks good. But it is common to find someone wearing the same thing two or sometimes even three days in a row. Especially with teachers. This suggests to me that while there is cultural emphasis on looking good, that doesn't necessarily mean owning the entire mall. Quantity doesn't equal quality. In America, more is better. There is emphasis on having lots of stuff and never ever repeating an outfit. Personally I like the French way better. The French are also more politically active and aware than Americans. There was a teacher's strike the first day of school and on the second day I went to a protest march about welfare. It is not unusual to find the TV on with the news at all times. They are also into history. I have heard many fascinating tales about how Flers (the town I go to school in) was flattened during the war and then rebuilt afterwords. Everyone knows the story.

Then there are more of the little differences. At school, everyone has a pencil case with blue, green, red and black pens; white out; highlighters; glue and scissors. They all take notes in the same way, always writing in script. They right some of their letters and numbers differently which is incredibly confusing. Lunch is the main meal of the day and breakfast is almost ignored. They like RARE meat here. I have to be careful asking for the way I want it cooked. I asked for rare, and could almost hear the cow mooing as I took my first bite. Desert is popular here. There is chocolate on everything. The stereotype about the French loving crepes and eating them all the time is also true; one day during one of those fifteen minute breaks, a boy reached into his pocket and pulled out two crepes that he then started to eat. It was funny. The food in general is delicious, but not exactly what the women on TV would recommend to lose 10 pounds a month. I don't know how they stay so thin. Oh, that's another thing. Everyone is slender.

So, another (really) long week survived. It was long, very very long, but not actually bad. It has gotten a lot easier socially. There are still a lot of times where I miss having friends to talk and laugh with, but I feel like I'm on the way to making some new ones. I was worried, based on the initial reactions of people, that they were very cliquey and not into accepting newcomers. I was luckily wrong. It seems to me that the French are just not as outgoing at first; not as likely to come up to you and immediately act like your best friend. But everyone is actually really really friendly. They call me Brenda, because apparently it is a stereotypical name for blond Americans. The kind that wear pink and have little dogs. Academically, it is still hard. No strike this week, just full on school. I feel like I'm drowning in SES (sciences economique et sociale), and French is no picnic either. A few classes are getting easier to understand, but not easier to do. For history, I have to focus incredibly hard on listening to understand the instructions, and then on top of that it is the type of class where native speakers have to think. So it's interesting, but very draining, and I can't let my mind wander for a second. I love math. Math is my relief class, my chance to take a deep breath and just crunch some numbers. Numbers are numbers are numbers, no confusion there.

Wenesday was an exciting day for me because I went shopping in Flers for the first time. I didn't bring my camera, though, which is a shame. My classmates say Flers is boring, but I find it beautiful. I, too, enjoy the excitement and glamor of a big city, but living in Normandy is a nice break from the chaos. The buildings are all made of brick and stone. The streets are crooked and uneven, in a charming way. The little shops are expensive, but very chic and very French. It is definitely possible to find clothes like that in Berkely, but not as common. There are a lot of tacky stores in Berkeley as well as some stylish ones. There isn't much to find by way of tacky in France, although you can find it if you really really look for it.

I really like my family. I miss my real family back home, and I don't quite feel like a member of the family yet, but they are so nice and supportive. It is great having someone my age in my classes. We can do our homework together and talk about travel. It's fun. There are sometimes where I want to talk to her but I don't know what to say exactly. But hopefully it will get easier. My host parents are very supportive, and try hard to teach me French, which I appreciate. The host-nieces and nephews are still adorable. I think I got a lucky house placement.

This experience has been a roller coaster. There were a lot of ups this week, but some downs as well. There are moments where it all gets to me and I am close to tears. It isn't as bad as it could be, though, because I knew there were going to be ups and downs. I am terrified, however, of receiving my first batch of grades. I know that is probably going to be a "down" moment.

I don't have time to post pictures now, but I will later this weekend, I promise.

Au revoir!

Paris, School, and Baguette with Every Meal

Salut mes amis! Welcome, bienvenue, to my very first ever blog post! Let me start from the beginning.

In the beginning God created the heavens and...

Just kidding.

My adventure started in New York. After flying all night long, and getting approximately 1.5 hours of sleep, Asher (another AFSer from Berkeley) and I waited for everyone else to arrive at our hotel for pre-departure orientation. At first, people trickled in slowly, and then around 3 or 4 PM, there was an explosion of incomming students. It was easier than it ever has been for me to make friends, because everyone was in the same position. Everyone was alone and excited and scared. Everyone was looking for allies. The excitement grew over the next two days, and finally, it was time to get on the next plane.

Except for a short tour of Paris, where we saw the Eiffel Tower and other famous sites (Paris is such a cool city, I would love to live there some day), we were trapped inside a hostel for three days. But it still felt like an exploration, because now there were people from all over the world to meet and talk with. New Zealand, Australia, Poland, Czech Republic, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Hungary, and Belgium. I love Australians! They are hilarious. The Germans are pretty funny too. We spent most of those two days in Paris playing card games when we weren't in orientation, which may sound boring, but it was fun. It was difficult to say goodbye on the last night, because who knows when I'll see those people next? I wanted to savor the feeling of having friends. And it's a good thing I did, because friends are hard to make when you can't really talk to them.

At five AM Sunday morning, the kids headed to Normandy woke up and boarded a bus for the train station. We stopped at another hostel to pick up kids from other parts of the world. There were only 9 of us for Normandy. The train ride was long and bumpy, but we were all getting psyched up for the year, and enjoying the French countryside. We got to the station in Lison, struggled to get our huge bags onto the platform, and turned to see a crowd of people walking toward us. At last, we were meeting the people who would become our families for the next year. We spent the rest of the day at one host family's house for a picnic and swimming. Françoise, my host mother, is very nice and speaks slowly enough for me to understand. Jacques, my host father, doesn't say much but when he does the others laugh, so he must be funny. Alice is my host sister, and when she talks to me she is nice, but she doesn't talk to me very much.

Monday was really my first day in France. It was the first day of school. Alice and I got to school and 8 AM, and she went to English class while I got registered. The next three classes were canceled because of a teacher's strike, so the students had nothing to do but wait. I followed Alice outside to the front of the school, and was introduced to her friends. In the US, when there is a new student, especially foreign, everyone crowds them and asks them questions and wants to know them. It was SO not like that. I was expecting, maybe even hoping for, a lot of attention, but no. Those French kids put me in my place. No one talked to me for hours; I just sat there in silence. Then, after lunch, someone finally noticed me! A kid named Baptiste decided to start talking to me, and afterwords others did as well. I also met a Finnish girl who is an exchange student with another program, and who understands the way I feel. I felt much better talking to her. It's gotten a bit better since the first day, but I'm still left in silence a lot of the time. It's frustrating, because I'll think of a great convorsation starter, and then not be able to say it in French. It feels like I have so much to say and so much to ask, and it's on the tip of my toungue, but it's being forced back down my throat.

School itself is incredibly confusing. The schedule is ridiculous. I start and stop at a different time everyday, and not everyone starts or finishes together. There are different classes every day. Altogether, I'm think I'm taking 10 subjects, but I'm not actually sure. The teachers change classrooms every period as well, so on monday math is in one room and on thursday it's in a different room. And there is the fact that all my classes are in French. I actually understand Math, Life and Earth Science, History/Geography, and P.E. And I'm a superstar in English. But The Economics/Social Sciences teacher talks a million words per minute. I'm lucky if I catch one word every now and then. Maybe, by next month, I'll have good enough french to understand a whole sentence! French class is also really difficult. And so is Spanish, because it's the third year for all the students and I have never studied spanish before. It's enough work learning French, I don't need another language to confuse me.

Alice has four older siblings and two of them have kids, so I have four little host nieces and nephews. They are adorable, and I am not self conscious to practice my French with them. And they, at least, find me interesting, if none of my classmates do.

It is very different from California, but then again, not that different. There is baguette with every meal. They do kiss on both cheecks to say hello. (It still feels weird to me. If there is a group of ten or fifteen friends and a new person comes, they will go all the way around the circle, kissing everyone. Sometimes, people will kiss you on both cheecks and then walk away, without saying a word. Boys kiss girls but not each other, they mostly just shake hands.) It is true that everyone is very chic here. They don't dress that differently from US teenagers (fewer bright colors, though), but absolutely everyone is well dressed. In the US, many people will look good, but a lot of people pay no attention to their appearance. Not so in France. Everyone has a pencil case in class and takes notes in exactly the same way. Other things are different as well. But these are all little differences.The bigger differences, the ones that matter, are harder to detect. There are things that feel different, but that I can not put my finger on exactly. It has only been a week. I will continue to observe, and see if I can figure it out.

There are differences, yes, but people are people. I am learning that human nature seeps through, even when it is covered by cultural differences. Teenagers are teenagers. Boys are just as immature and goofy as in America, girls like to gossip and discuss things just as much. We all share the same basic senses and feelings. It is interesting to see how similar the interactions are between kids at school here and in the US. It makes me think of my friends. And then I start to miss them, because in California, I can participate in the interactions.

I'm going to do karate and dance while I'm here. Yesterday was my first karate class. I'm used to knowing everyone at karate and feeling completely comfortable, so it was strange being the newcomer. It's more intense at this dojo, but many techniques are the same. Yesterday, it was all hard style, no aikido or anything. And it was more violent than Cuong Nhu. I worked with three different black belts, and it was very satisfying when they realized I knew what I was doing.

It is beautiful here; everything is so green. There are cows outside my window! That's different. It is more peaceful, more calm.

It's exhausting listening in French all day and trying to understand, so I'm going to go rest. Miss you all. Sorry this post was so long, Probably the others will be shorter. A Bientot!

P.S.
If there is anything specifically that you want me to talk about in these posts, tell me and I will incorperate it if I can.

P.P.S.
If  I can figure out how to connect my laptop to the internet, I will post pictures next time.