Still Swimming

This week was better. After the AFS reunion last weekend I was motivated to talk to people and keep trying. Well, minus thursday, I think I did talk more and be less shy. Tuesday was a strike day so I only had three hours of school and used the free time to go into town with some Frenchies who could show me around a bit. Wednesday was awesome because I actually understood my SES (economics) class and now have a vague idea of what is going on. That is the class with the teacher that talks a million words per minute, so this is a huge accomplishment. Huge. My comprehension goes up and down from day to day, but overall it is definitely improving. It was best Wednesday though, and I noticed that the day before that I didn't go on the computer all day. I think there's a correlation, because going on line means not being immersed in french anymore. So I'm starting a new internet diet, only a few times per week. We'll see how long my resolve lasts. But one with my week. Thursday was a down day. I was missing home and I was feeling extra timid and we had P.E. that day and I'm a terrible handball player. But whatever, it's done and Friday was back to being good. There was a "blocus" at school which meant people put up barriers that didn't allow anyone in as another form of protest. It's a common thing in France, for example the oil refinery was also blocked off. I've never heard of it in America. Anyway, no school so for most of the morning I was just hanging out outside the school with people. It was good because I did manage to talk more.  I hope I can keep this up.

Things that were weird for me at first aren't as weird anymore. I'm getting used to boys using a lot of gel in their hair and I'm getting used to teachers just telling you the assignment once. I am not surprised when there is a protest or a strike anymore. It is normal for me to find the TV on with the news, and I don't giggle anymore when I see people walking down the street with five baguettes. I'm even used to the kissing-on-both-cheeks-to-say-hello thing. I like it. But I still don't know the exact etiquette. In America, I had the etiquette totally down for when to smile at someone (even down to teeth versus no teeth), when to wave and when to hug. But here I have to just follow the other person's lead. And I wonder, what happens after a couple breaks up or friends get in a fight? Do they still kiss? Because that would be kind of awkward...

Last night I went to a show. It was a combination of circus acrobatics and dance. It was pretty amazing. It was the first show I've been to here, and when I got to the theater I realized I'd been missing that. I go to a ton of shows in Berkeley because every week Alex Senauke has another play and I have a lot of talented friends in general. Not only was the show artistic and creative and astounding (the muscles! oh la vache!), but I just enjoyed the atmosphere. I got the feeling that French people go out to shows and performances more often than Americans, and everyone was excited to be there. I can't wait till the next show. Also, I think in the spring I have a dance performance too. I'm excited.

They say you learn about yourself while you are here. I know it is still the beginning and I have a lot more to learn, but there are some things I didn't really know before. I do not like being ignored; I like to be in the midst of things and I like talking to people. I like to be independent. You might think that going away for a year is incredibly independent, but a lot of times I feel like a little kid, needing others to help me get basic things. I don't like when people worry over me, but It is necessary while I still have the language skills of a five year old. I do care what people think about me, even if in the USA I said I didn't. I am very self conscious here. I love tomatoes, could eat them with every meal. I like to run. I hated running back home. Here it clears my mind and feels great. Lastly, I have learned that I like Halloween, which I always thought of as my least favorite holiday. I like how excited everyone gets leading up to it and preparing the decorations and costumes. I guess I just like atmospheres where everyone is really excited and into it, like theme parks or shows or Halloween. It's only been like a month and a half, so I wonder what else I will learn...

I miss home. At first, it just came in random days but now it's pretty constant. I don't want to be back home because I am so glad to be here and even with the struggles I'm enjoying it. But I want to just  see everyone for a minute or too. I miss all my friends and family. I also miss mexican food, although I'm planning on making a mexican dinner one night. Maybe enchiladas. Yummm. But yes, I really do miss you all. Hope everyone is doing well. Write me! I like letters, and I like hearing all the boring details about your lives :).

Until next time!